I haven’t written in a while. Wish I could tell you it was because I was getting my life together, but honestly it’s cuz I’ve been getting shitfaced damn near every night. Alcohol has a lovely way of getting you to forget yourself. 



I got a call last night. From him. 



I couldn’t get myself to answer the phone. After months of hoping that he would call, I didn’t want him to know I was smashed. Couldn’t bring myself to look that pathetic.



/”Luc. Hi. It's me. Um. Yeah. I don't know. I'll be coming back in May. ---- I heard you left NYC. Lorelei is trying hard to keep me informed, and I've been trying my hardest not to read anything related to you.”/



/”I miss you. I can't believe I'm saying that, but yeah. I miss you, and I feel alone here. I keep wondering if I could have done something different. And... fuck, why am I even talking to your answering machine? It's only 2am over there; you're not asleep yet. Akira can give you my number if you care.”/*



Not bloody likely. ‘kira’s always had it in for me, and I’ve got the scars to prove that one… That’s where it cut off. I’ve listened to it fifteen times and it always cuts off there. 



Never thought he’d forgive me for what I did… I sure has hell haven’t forgiven myself.



Valerie and Lorelei have been the only people who have contacted me since I left… I probably have Lorelei to thank for getting him to even pick up the phone.



It’d probably piss them off to know that Valerie had my number. But they should know by now that Val has a way of getting whatever she wants. Always has. If they knew…



…Christ, I could use another drink.




/...to be continued/
/*"voice on phone" by yhibiki/